I’m at the point now where I don’t want to impress anyone anymore. There’s a fine line between the numerator and the denominator. Messaging is a huge part of peoples’ lives nowadays. I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade”. They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. That’s fine. I don’t worry about terrorism. If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror. If you can’t convince them, confuse them. Your funny WhatsApp status adds happiness and positivity in other's life, who all connected with you WhatsApp. Don’t hold your breath for a response. Did you hear that joke that doesn’t offend anyone? Can we please go back to the main menu of life? When a bird hits your windshield, have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you? Give them a taste of your other side with these attitude stats! Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas. Netflix, Oreos, and sweatpants. I’m just allergic to crushing defeat. That’s life. My wife dresses to kill. Time flies like an arrow. My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas? If you are looking for some funny whatsapp status messages then you have just reached at the right place. This is a collection of Unique WhatsApp Funny Status. I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. Don’t find true love, and it will find you itself. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either. Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper. Be yourself, who else is better qualified? It’s a new millennium, where’s the “Fold” button on my dryer? Want more funny jokes and one-liners for your social media accounts? Time flies like an arrow. Life is all about perspective. This site is full of immense Happy Birthday Quotes, pictures and saying. I like having conversations with kids. I’m not avoiding work. I’ve been diagnosed with “awesomeness.” You might want to get checked, but I doubt you caught it. Hot is the past it is time to be cool now. Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. If you don’t care, stop talking about it. I am not perfect, but I am a limited edition. 3)I know the voices in my head aren’t real….. but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! My dogs don’t even own bikes! Sometimes it gets difficult to say the right words at the right time. We’ve compiled these funny WhatsApp statuses that you can try and out it on your bio. I replied, Still looking for a FREE Wi-Fi connection! Trouble usually finds me. If you can’t convince them, confuse them. There’s only one problem with your face, I can see it. In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker. I’m naturally funny because my whole life is a joke. Real boyfriend sees no other females, Because his eyes are only dedicated for his girl. Being an adult is just walking around wondering what you’re forgetting. Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. Punch up your Instagram account with our list of funny Instagram bios or our other list of more funny Instagram bios. Oh, it’s your attitude. Hopefully, our list has gotten a chuckle or two. Prairie Home Companion Pretty Good Joke Book, funny names for your online group hangout, How To Change Location or Region in TikTok, How To Record Without Holding the Button in Snapchat, How To View Private Facebook Profiles & Pictures [October 2020], How To Find Deleted Friends in the Snapchat App, The Best Tinder Pickup Lines [January 2020], How To Claim an Inactive Instagram Username Account. Haters hate because I got what they ain’t. You’re so lucky that I’m terrified of prison. A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. I had to stop drinking, cause I got tired of waking up in my car driving 90. (Hilarious + LOL), +99 Popular and Trendy TikTok Quotes 2020, +99 Motivating and Inspiring Pinterest Quotes on Life, +290 Amazing and heartwarming Pinterest Quotes on Love. That’s why people appear bright until they speak. Create your visual style. 3. If you are looking for a status that expresses yourself, then read our collection of Attitude WhatsApp Status. Walking my dog, we saw a guy in a suit walking his dog and I know my dog is thinking I don’t dress nice for him anymore. First ever unique and authentic collection of Whatsapp status, Facebook messages, Best Quotes and twitter status in different languages and categories. I’ve fallen in love many times. Feeling. We have everything ready for you. When he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me. See our list of hilarious Alexa commands. You can set a status in WhatsApp, which lets your friends see what you’re up to without having to ping you with a message or a call. I’m not heartless, I just learned how to use my heart LESS. People said to follow your dreams so I went back to bed. Required fields are marked *. I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag. I’m not anti-fashion, but I’ve always had a bit of a punk attitude. I have a new theory in life…what other people think of me is truly none of my business! Don’t let your WhatsApp status dry up with boring one-liners, use these quotes to your hearts’ content! Make sure that the phrases define who you are. Give them a good laugh now. An Ugly Personality Destroys A Pretty Face. Hashtag time! It just depends on what number you are on their priority list. I told him to be himself. Don’t use the bathroom in your dream, It’s a setup. Always remember that you’re unique. You seem to be on your own path. Being original is difficult…you can’t be like me. Isn’t that funny. Husband: Does the new one now work? Cliff. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – I can’t put it down. Me: Did you get a haircut? In that case – you’re totally right. But in that crowded field, the Facebook product WhatsApp has risen above the rest to become one of the world’s favorite ways to send messages. Shopping is an art. Or something like that. I think I accidentally chose “impossible” mode. My drug test came back negative. That was pretty mean I guess. It’s the front row app for messaging and is used by billions of people around the globe. I Can Sleep For Days. True friendship: Walking into a person’s house and having your Wi-Fi connect automatically. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is. When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner. I see that you’re online. Unfortunately, there’s a “socio” in front of it. Here are some funny hashtags for Instagram. It is almost impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside. We have here some of the funniest statuses you’ll find on the net. “Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.”. I’m a ninja, not a nerd. I’m fresh, but global warming made me very hot. My life makes about as much sense as a screen door on a submarine. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction. And I’m ideal. “Employee of the Month” is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure. Home Captions Ideas 101 Ideas for a Funny WhatsApp Status – Short and Unique. Marriage is a 3 Ring Circus- 1. The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off. Dear automatic flushing toilet. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Why I can’t I have no kids and three money? Nothing, it just waved. An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. …and some other words. Sometimes I think I’m too picky, but then I watch my dog look for a place to poop. I have a little plaque. Love is blind but the neighbors are not. I am not perfect, but I am a limited edition. I got my CAPS LOCK ON. We have a list here for you. I don’t need a burning sun and a cooling moon to show me my way. Photons have mass? His story is History, My Story is Mystery. We’ve got a whole bunch of funny Instagram captions. Funny status video download: Download the best funny status video for Whatsapp from here. I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people. If you’re talking behind my back, you’re in the perfect position to kiss my a**! Beware of the dog…the cat is also pretty shady. “Do you smell carrots?”. An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough. A man is incomplete until he is married. I’m not actually funny. An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough. I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work. I promise I’ll give it back. Read more March 5, 2020. Add a filmy twist to your group name with the latest movie reference or use song lyrics for some memorable WhatsApp group names. She cooks the same way. 6 Friendship Whatsapp Status. I am an artist. Just want you to hold me whenever I tumble. They use WhatsApp status to convey their message to boyfriend-girlfriend, friends, and family too. Jan 8, 2020 - We have a huge collection of best Whatsapp Display pictures. Neither did I. You’re so lucky that I’m terrified of prison. Love cannot be in doubt. My feelings will not be repressed. WhatsApp has built a huge user community, largely due to its incredibly simple interface, and it allows free voice and text communication between individuals all around the world without raising your phone bill. Unless you want me to be. Being someone’s first love may be great, but to be their last is beyond perfect. Love for all, Hatred for none. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. 1)Good morning…let the stress begin. Alcohol will give a different type of power! I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy shits. Never wrestle with a pig. It’s not about me. If you like these quotes than don’t forget to share these quotes with your friends on your social profiles. I miss you like an idiot misses the point. Robert is a freelance editor and writer living in Colorado. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof. If you are bored with your current status and looking for a new WhatsApp status, your eyes are on the right page. I am online too. Girl, you’re like a car accident, cause I just can’t look away. Someone asked me, what’s your relationship status? 300 Quotes to cheer you up today and every day! Don’T Need It. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results. I would call my fashion style “clothes that still fit.”. You think I’m cute when I’m mad? The more I grow the more they hate; the more they hate the more I grow. Your email address will not be published. I may be fat, but you’re ugly. I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around. I told her to close the door five times on her way out. I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work. You’ll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. Express yourself or your love to others with the Loved Whatsapp Status Quotes. Treat yourself like a King and you’ll attract your Queen. I’m just on battery saver mode. Keep rolling your eyes. If some people insist on acting like idiots, then I must insist on treating them like one. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. But I’m unique! Copy and paste the ones you like! No one is always busy. Note that the WhatsApp About field is limited to 139 characters, so you can’t put in long jokes. Unfortunately, there’s a “socio” in front of it. Your email address will not be published. Send them to your loved ones, to your friends, to everyone! If everyone on Earth joined hands around the Equator, many of them would drown. By Rael 09/11/2020. There are a few pages I would like to erase. Heal some of your friends’ pain and put up some funny status for your friends regardless of gender. If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s a…………. 101 Ideas for a Funny WhatsApp Status – Short and Unique. But I just do. I am so poor that i can’t pay attention in class. I don’t mind and you don’t matter! 5) Never Give Up On Your Dreams. I would request a last meal of soda and pop rocks so I could die on my own terms. By the way, I’m wearing the smile you gave me. The show was called Spongebob Squarepants, but everyone knows the star was Patrick. My night has become a sunny dawn because of you. Don’t forget to save this page and come back to it when you need to post another funny status! I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that. 33+ VIRAL and COOLEST TikTok Captions 2020, 113+ WISEST and COOLEST Mark Twain Quotes 2020, 117 Cool and Funny School-related Quotes and Captions for Instagram, 200 Quotes from your Favorite Movies and TV Shows (Inspiring, Motivating), 315 Funniest movie quotes of all time! I do what I must, and my friends will adjust! My girlfriend keeps stealing my sweatshirts, and I keep replacing them. Looking for that cool and funny WhatApp status? The best way to lie is, to tell the truth, carefully edited truth. The two statuses are different; changing one will not change the other. Tap your name, then tap the edit button (the pen icon) under “About”. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. Needing a good status to fully express what you feel? 3) Slow Internet. Because if they fell forward they’d still be in the boat. This does not effect our editorial in any way. The leprechaun looked in his wallet and said, “Shoot. In future all of us will be beaten by wife. Funny Whatsapp Status in English Funny Whatsapp Status in English. If I’m not, just read this message again. Positive Status, Stay Positive Whatsapp Status. I’ve been diagnosed with “awesomeness.” You might want to get checked, but I doubt you caught it. You cannot stop the waves but you can learn to surf. I only drink on two occasions: when it’s my birthday and when it’s not. I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need. Add a new picture or video and a caption. People say nothing’s impossible, but I do nothing everyday. Remember Kiss? 3) Slow Internet. Opportunity sometimes knocks very softly. Honest people can be put into two categories….little kids and drunk persons. Because some relationships don’t work out. Worry no more! Hey, I’ll be back in five minutes. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait. If people like me the way I am, great. Learn to listen. Unique Whatsapp Status to Update for you. Fashion is about something that comes from within you. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof. Then you are on the perfect page! Most of us love to play Funny Dare Games on Whatsapp with friends & GF/BF. Oh, yes, I miss You. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? If you think no one cares about you, try missing a couple of car payments. Everyone wants happiness, no one wants pain, but you can’t make a rainbow, without a little rain. In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? It took me a while to realize it was just a Fanta sea. My secret talent is getting tired without doing anything.is so common, why are there so many people without it? Chat me when you miss me. We aren’t friends until we start insulting each other on a daily basis. It’s a little fishy. If you are not satisfied, it`s not real love. So we compromised and got a puppy. I don’t know if I like you or love you, want you or need you, all I know is I love the feeling I get when I’m near you. My words are like a china phone. I recently gave up Warcraft, so my productivity and drinking have increased dramatically. If you were to die tomorrow would you be happy with today? I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job on the road crew, but when I got home, all the signs were there. When it comes to getting a quick message to nearly anyone in the world, modern techno-users have plenty of options. Why am I so afraid to lose you when you’re not even mine? The police called to say one of my friends escaped from a mental hospital. Copy and past to your WhatsApp status and see how your friends will react! Don’t hate me, just get to know me first! I’m really not cranky. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. With these hilarious statuses, you’ll be able to grab your friends’ attention immediately. Excellence is not a skill, It is an attitude. You may have observed it, a lot of people are mostly seen online on WhatsApps.Now people have begun to use WhatsApp on their computers also. A pessimist is afraid this might be true. Don’t be shy to copy and paste some of the captions and statuses you want. We’ve got one-liner funny status, funny shorts for boys and girls, and many many more! They both have an iPhone. We share handwritten guides to boost your Social Media Marketing genuinely. We now have 450 sweatshirts, and they’re all in her closet. Falling in love is only half of I want, staying in love with you for till forever is the other. I just have a violent reaction when I meet stupid people. Check out our list of funny names for your online group hangout. A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. Suffering. If you are looking for a status that means a lot, then check our collection of Short Status for WhatsApp. Join the circus and grow your Social Media the fun way. True friendship: Walking into a person’s house and having your Wi-Fi connect automatically. I tried being like you, my personality didn’t like it. Never underestimate me because I am more than you think. I like having conversations with kids. I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe. I was going to take over the world this morning, but I overslept. I do not believe in using women in combat, because females are too fierce. People may hear your words but they feel your attitude. I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around. Make sure that you have the best about me status for your WhatsApp. I didn’t even know they were Catholic. I don’t know why I keep a plastic bag at home full of plastic bags. I just need … I work out every day I do 1 sit-up every morning when I wake up. I never argue, I just explain why I’m right. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Never make the same mistake twice, there are so many new ones, try a different one each day Love is like a rubber band held at both ends by two people, when one leaves it hurts the other. You may be someone to the world but you are the world for someone. I’m just on battery saver mode. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. Do not drink and park accidents cause people. Fruit flies like a banana. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. !–the great motto to live life!! I’m not drunk, I’m just chemically off-balanced. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. You think I’m cute when I’m mad? Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice container? Then he’s finished. You can also go for some short and classy lines as your cool Whatsapp statuses. I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job on the road crew, but when I got home, all the signs were there. Being weird is the side effect of awesomeness. Because they taste funny. Press Esc to cancel. I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Love is one of the most overly used topics in the world . A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Good news, you’re sentences away from it! woman. Almost every person who owns a smart phone don’t forget to install whatsapp. I told the doctor that I’d broken my arm in several places. I still laugh when the ketchup bottle “FARTS”. I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is… Scaring men is easy. I remember when my old Nokia phone said I had a low battery it meant that I had 2 days to find a charger. Check them out below! It’s a very popular feature, since it lets you give out meaningful or amusing information without forcing people to ping you to be updated and forcing you to respond. 2) Slow Internet. I’m the world’s best dentist. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. Sorry… I’m not Rihanna. I was at a funeral and the widow asked if I would say a word. Guys have no idea how long something they said can stay in a girl’s mind. Make love to her like you’re the best. Men have feelings too. Don’t worry, you’re safe. I can only please one person a day. It’s not that I don’t want to go to work. Join the circus and grow your Social Media the fun way. That’s important, I think. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Try them out and see if you get any laughs. If you’re feeling like that at the moment, you’ve come to the right web page – here are some WhatsApp status about love that you can use. I eat my tacos over a tortilla. Read, scroll, and don’t be shy to copy and paste. If a hug tells how much I love you, I will hold you in my arms forever. Be nice to nerds, they will be your boss one day. An Instagram. The Only Disability In Life Is A Bad Attitude. Let’s be friends. You will also have a collection of Funny Whatsapp Status in the below sections. Never bend your head. What did the mountain climber name his son? Have an Echo? Don’t judge my past, look at my present, I am sure my future is really rocking. So please visit. New Unique Status for Whatsapp FB: Looking for Best Unique Status Quotes, We are providing Large Collection of Short Unique Status.This are the Most Famous Handpicked Unique Whatsapp Status Quotes by us. Beer is what makes you see double and feel single. Please reload and try again. Fruit flies like a banana. Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life. If you keep annoying me, I’ll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it’s Santa’s hotline. They are irresponsible. They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? Get up every morning, imagine a future then make it happen. Boys never realize how much one little thing can hurt a girl. Feel free to copy and paste to your statuses! Don’t like my attitude? Waste It Wisely. It was just that the floor needed some cleaning. Being an adult is just walking around wondering what you’re forgetting. Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. After Monday and Tuesday, every calendar says WTF. Tap the three-dot icon in the upper right corner of the screen. Dear problems… Please give me some discount… I am your regular customer. There are billions of people who are using the platform to express themselves and upload their photos. I was going to take over the world this morning, but I overslept. If people are talking behind your back, that’s a good time to fart. My relationship status? How much does a hipster weigh? I hope you liked this collection. My dealer sure has some explaining to do. I am multi-talented, I can talk and piss you off at the same time. I haven’t failed, my success is just postponed until later. Trouble usually finds me.”. I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food. Never laugh at your partner’s choices… You’re one of them. Sometimes it’s easier to pretend you don’t care, than to admit it’s killing you. Light travels faster than sound. If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator? I would avoid the sushi if I was you. They use WhatsApp status to convey their message to … This could be anything from a green dot to indicate you’re available to chat, an away message, or a serious threat against anyone who dare disturb you. I’m not single. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I am blaming you. Well, here I am. Your favorite sports quotes in one Post – Ready to win? You can also send out an active status update to all of your contacts to let them know you’re ready to talk! 2) Slow Internet. It’s only getting stronger with time. Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness. Love doesn’t make the world go round. Here are some of the funny WhatsApp status ideas you can put in your profiles! I hold the key to world peace, but somebody changed the lock. “I would lose weight, but I hate losing.”. Time flies after you hit the snooze button. For example, we feel hungry. Just like everyone else. God is really creative, I mean… just look at me. Dress the way you want to be Addressed! Zombies are looking for brains. I’m the coach. Personality is to a man what perfume is to a flower. Because they’re so good at it. If you dislike me, remember: it’s mind over matter. The earth’s rotation really makes my day. Report me at who-cares-dot-com. Make an impact in your WhatsApp status with short statuses. I rely on them. I like to stay in bed. Don’t judge someone’s attitude until you’ve felt their pain. I need to go to Wal-Mart but I can’t find my pajamas. I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something. So this post includes latest funny whatsapp status 2018. The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity. Check all our social media resources. I do my own thing. Place your time and energy on someone who will add sunshine to your life. I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat. The wheel’s still turning but the hamster is dead. How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? The older I get, the earlier it gets late. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there. I want to be invited but I don’t want to go. Wedding Ring, 3. Excuse me, I found something under my shoes. Beyond the basic statuses of “Available” or “Away,” WhatsApp lets you add your own text message to show as your status. It’s about that very moment when you’re doing something and wishing they were right here with you. Sincerely, The Library. What did the ocean say to the shore? It’s a great way to communicate, express, and even socialize. Girls are the expressive gender in the spectrum. Keep Sleeping. My girlfriend left me because she couldn’t handle my OCD. Today isn’t your day. I can’t read lips unless they’re touching mine. Happiness is not in money but in shopping. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Girls are like police.
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